Eulogy

Roz was the first ever female Knight of Herstmenseux Castle. To know almost everything you need to know about Roz you just need to know why she became the first ever female knight of Herstmenseux Castle. It was because a man in a pub told her a woman could never do it.

I’m tempted to just walk back to my chair right now.

I sometimes think my greatest mistake was being nice and supportive to Roz when she was diagnosed with cancer. I should have snidely said there was no way she could beat it. Not only would she be cancer free now, she probably would’ve invented a cure!

You’ve heard about how talented Roz was. About how she could master almost anything she put her mind to – the exceptions being arithmetic and cables. I’d tell you stories but the emotional scars are still too deep! Sorry – but my favourite thing that I heard from people over the past few weeks is that they could be themselves around her. No matter who the person was or where they came from they could be totally genuine and open with her and feel completely at ease. It was her greatest gift and it is unbelievably rare. She would also have some knowledge of the subject they were talking about. My favourite example was when we were buying our house and the estate agent asked her how long she’d be in the property industry. She wasn’t. She’d just consumed a ton of knowledge about it because, of course that’s what you do. Doesn’t everyone!?

I wondered what I would say about what Roz meant to me and then realised I had already written it many years ago. Often, in the 20+ years we were together Roz would ask me what I saw in her. She always thought of herself as fat and ugly and not good enough. She didn’t see what everyone else saw in her. So after a couple of years of this I wrote a document called Why I love my Wozzie and told her to read it anytime she felt low or not good enough. I’d like to read it now.

Why I love my Wozzie

When I used to fantasize about my dream woman I found I couldn’t realistically put all my desires into just one woman. I wanted someone who was sexy yet innocent, strong yet weak, womanly yet masculine, mature yet childlike, silly yet sensible. None of my fantasies could reconcile these discrepancies yet with my Wozzie I have found nearly all of my fantasies in one person.

Roz is very thoughtful and considerate often to the detriment of herself yet she is also strong willed, a characteristic that is very attractive to her friends in their time of need. She is the advisor and counsellor of our group and is always there for friends and family alike. Her wisdom and maturity give her an insight into problems and solutions and the tact and subtlety to impart her advice in a quiet, careful and considered manner.

Roz is fun.

Her little turns of phrase and ability to allow herself to be silly really appeals to my sense of daftness. The amount of silly comments and daft gestures we have built up over the years is quite staggering and they all still bring a smile to our faces and warmth to our hearts.

Roz is tactile.

Roz wants contact and affection and will call me when she has nothing to say. Again this greatly appeals to me. It is wonderful to know that your other half is just a phone call away and when she is in a meeting or unavailable for a period of time, there is a small cold lump in my heart.

Roz does not live in my pocket.

Roz is happy to go off and do her own thing. This allows me a sense of space and freedom that is quite unusual in a relationship. I can go and play a game or watch a football match knowing that as long as I stay in touch (come down and give cuddles, make cups of tea, etc) there will not be a problem and neither one of us will feel neglected. I believe this has given us the space and freedom to allow this relationship to grow and mature.

Roz is weak.

Roz has a lot of emotional and physical issues and has said several times that she wonders if she would still be here if I had not been around to care for her. This appeals to the protector in me and I consider my greatest achievement in this world to be caring for her and keeping her happy and healthy.

Roz is strong.

Roz has an inner strength that has allowed her to deal with more issues than I believe I could cope with. This allows me to know that during times of crisis she will be there for me and will be a comfort and a source of practical help.

Roz loves me!

Roz loves and cares about me more than anything and this makes me feel so happy and warm inside that it is hard to describe. To be truly loved is probably the greatest sense of peace a person can have.

In conclusion, I adore my wife for the reasons above and probably many more!

That is what my Wozzie meant to me.